I try to keep it under wraps that I struggle quite a bit with my temper. So often I catch myself missing beautiful moments with my children because I'm so wound up about something that there is no point getting that upset over. Does it ever solve anything to blow my top and explode about anything? Maybe this is a learned behaviour? I remember my mom flipping out on me over things that I thought weren't that big of a deal, and now here I am acting the same way. What really cuts me to the quick, is that more and more I'm seeing my oldest son, Canon, getting extremely frustrated and upset over little things in the blink of an eye. I constantly scold myself that I am setting him an example as to how one should respond to disappointment or frustration, and the one I am setting isn't so great. I feel like a drill sgt some days, constantly barking at my kids and I hate it. Every day I get up and say that today is going to be different. "Today I am going to be patient and kind." Good goal. There's just one problem: I am always trying to accomplish this through my own sheer will and flesh. Just trying to hold tight and white-knuckle my way through as my pastor put it on Sunday. Every day I inevitably fail because I'm not being changed supernaturally, I'm just bottling up the frustration and then shooting off about half way through the day. Why am I not cracking open my Bible more often? Why am I not continuously in prayer about this? It isn't just a parenting problem, it's a worship problem. It's a problem with my witness. I have my own children's ministry of my very own and I'm just not giving 100% because I'm not ever asking Jesus to fill me up before I try to pour out. How can I pour out something that isn't there to begin with?
I desperately need more of Jesus in my life. Not just in my life in general, but right here, right now, in this very moment.
I'm grabbing my bible and heading outside. My two older young'uns are running around in the backyard with bubbles and water guns and all manner of fun and I want to be present with them in these moments. This is one of the big reasons why I stay home, after all, is so that I can experience all the little joys with them. So I'm going to go read my Bible with the laughter of children as the soundtrack to my afternoon. I want to soak up every wise and beautiful thing that Jesus is, so that I can better pour Him out and into others.
Showing posts with label dealing with stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dealing with stress. Show all posts
mice.
Tuesday before last Doyle woke up crying about fifteen after five in the morning. In my half-asleep stupor I thought I heard scratching coming from inside one of the walls in my bedroom. It soon stopped and I figured it was probably my DVR box doing something and my sleepy imagination was playing tricks on me. Two night later I was woken up by the scratching sound, again, just past five a.m. This time I popped up wide awake and listened. I walked over to the wall just to make sure and yes, there was most definitely some thing inside the wall.
I proceeded to panic.
I immediately started packing up a suitcase throwing all the clean clothes I could find of mine and the kids inside. When the clock finally hit six a.m I called my mom who I knew would be sympathetic to my plight as she is also afraid of mice. I got the okay from her to come on over, so I woke up the kids, got them dressed as quickly as possible and high-tailed it to my mom's house on the north side of OKC.
Once a more reasonable hour rolled around we called an exterminator and he came out the next day. Right away he started off by saying that this isn't typically the time of year that mice enter houses, that the wall in question would be an unlikely hang out for mice, and that the house itself was sealed up pretty tight against pests, but I knew what I heard so as a last ditched effort he checked the attic and that's where he found them. He said there were dropping everywhere and that they had chewed tunnels all through the insulation. (Insert me shivering with the heeby-jeebies.) He put down multi-feed bait in the attic and in some bait stations around the house, charged me an arm and a leg and said he'd be back to check the bait in three months.
THREE MONTHS!? We spent one night in the house and after being up all night listened to the mice (which as it happens I had been hearing for months, I just didn't realize that was what the noises were) we headed back to my mom's place. My step-dad decided to be a little more proactive and put actual traps up in the attic to help take them out faster, but until I know they are gone, I refuse to go back. It was bad enough when giant spiders started moving in, but I could spray those bad boys with my giant black can o' spider death. But then I found the huge intact snake skin in the backyard, and now the mice.....Why do these things happen when my big strong husband is gone? I think it's that way for military wives everywhere.
What about you? Is there any creepy creature that would make you hit the road if you discovered them in your house?
I proceeded to panic.
I immediately started packing up a suitcase throwing all the clean clothes I could find of mine and the kids inside. When the clock finally hit six a.m I called my mom who I knew would be sympathetic to my plight as she is also afraid of mice. I got the okay from her to come on over, so I woke up the kids, got them dressed as quickly as possible and high-tailed it to my mom's house on the north side of OKC.
Once a more reasonable hour rolled around we called an exterminator and he came out the next day. Right away he started off by saying that this isn't typically the time of year that mice enter houses, that the wall in question would be an unlikely hang out for mice, and that the house itself was sealed up pretty tight against pests, but I knew what I heard so as a last ditched effort he checked the attic and that's where he found them. He said there were dropping everywhere and that they had chewed tunnels all through the insulation. (Insert me shivering with the heeby-jeebies.) He put down multi-feed bait in the attic and in some bait stations around the house, charged me an arm and a leg and said he'd be back to check the bait in three months.
THREE MONTHS!? We spent one night in the house and after being up all night listened to the mice (which as it happens I had been hearing for months, I just didn't realize that was what the noises were) we headed back to my mom's place. My step-dad decided to be a little more proactive and put actual traps up in the attic to help take them out faster, but until I know they are gone, I refuse to go back. It was bad enough when giant spiders started moving in, but I could spray those bad boys with my giant black can o' spider death. But then I found the huge intact snake skin in the backyard, and now the mice.....Why do these things happen when my big strong husband is gone? I think it's that way for military wives everywhere.
What about you? Is there any creepy creature that would make you hit the road if you discovered them in your house?
bills and illness
Can I just say how much I hate bills? I mean, I know they are necessary and that is fine, but as someone who lived in military housing for the bulk of their adult life, it is quite a switch to suddenly have to worry about rent and utilities and lawn care and pest control. Not that we weren't paying for those things before, but we were paying significantly less and it was all taken from hubby's check automatically. It's been a long time since I've had to worry about getting rent paid on time and all of that.
My oldest boy was sick yesterday. He woke up saying he felt sick and that his stomach didn't feel good, but I just figured it was because he was hungry and needed to eat. Next thing I know he's throwing up last night's macaroni and cheese all over the carpet the poor kid. He pretty much laid on the couch all morning and then laid in bed all afternoon. I dragged him out of the house (he said he was feeling better) so I could go pick up a pizza becaues I couldn't find anyone to deliver one out to us, and as soon as we got back inside the house he just laid down on the floor right in the hallway. Tell me that isn't going to break a momma's heart. He ended up throwing up again around midnight and developed a little bit of a fever. I hope he feels better today. It's so unlike my kids to get sick.
My oldest boy was sick yesterday. He woke up saying he felt sick and that his stomach didn't feel good, but I just figured it was because he was hungry and needed to eat. Next thing I know he's throwing up last night's macaroni and cheese all over the carpet the poor kid. He pretty much laid on the couch all morning and then laid in bed all afternoon. I dragged him out of the house (he said he was feeling better) so I could go pick up a pizza becaues I couldn't find anyone to deliver one out to us, and as soon as we got back inside the house he just laid down on the floor right in the hallway. Tell me that isn't going to break a momma's heart. He ended up throwing up again around midnight and developed a little bit of a fever. I hope he feels better today. It's so unlike my kids to get sick.
feeling blue
i am missing the husband today. he told me he would call when he got there and he should definitely be there by now, but i still haven't heard from him. no news is good news in the army, but it would still be nice to hear from him.
i took out the young'uns to go grocery shopping cause we NEEDED to go. let me just tell you if you didn't already know- grocery shopping with three rambuncious kids under the age of five (one of whom is potty training) is not an experience for those with weak nerves. we had a potty accident AND the baby bit me while on my back in the mei tai before we made it out the door with the food. we got the food in and put away and i promptly sent the older ones to play in their room while i mixed myself a rum and coke. now, i'm not a big drinker at all these days (years of pregnancy and breastfeeding induced sobriety will do that to a gal), but sometimes you need something to take the edge off. right now they are both in canon's room which is the smallest room in the house and they are having a conversation about Larry Boy, but it's AT THIS VOLUME RIGHT HERE.
you know, i just realized i haven't had anything to eat today. maybe that's why i'm taking everything a little harder than normal. off to devour something...
i took out the young'uns to go grocery shopping cause we NEEDED to go. let me just tell you if you didn't already know- grocery shopping with three rambuncious kids under the age of five (one of whom is potty training) is not an experience for those with weak nerves. we had a potty accident AND the baby bit me while on my back in the mei tai before we made it out the door with the food. we got the food in and put away and i promptly sent the older ones to play in their room while i mixed myself a rum and coke. now, i'm not a big drinker at all these days (years of pregnancy and breastfeeding induced sobriety will do that to a gal), but sometimes you need something to take the edge off. right now they are both in canon's room which is the smallest room in the house and they are having a conversation about Larry Boy, but it's AT THIS VOLUME RIGHT HERE.
you know, i just realized i haven't had anything to eat today. maybe that's why i'm taking everything a little harder than normal. off to devour something...
count to 10...
So, ever since I was a child I can remember people saying things about counting to ten when you are stressed or about to lose your temper and I never really "got" it until I had children....at least two of them anyway as my oldest, Canon, was such a breeze of a baby that I often wondered what all the fuss was about when people would talk about how hard having a baby was. Now that I am a mother of three, all boys (God apparently believes in me more than I do!), I certainly understand the benefits of taking a moment to count to ten before reacting to people or things. I still raise my voice much more than I'd care to admit, but the counting definitely helps.
This past week my husband, John, has been "in the field" and it has been so trying. It's hardley the longest we've ever been apart- he spent July of 2006- October 2007 in Iraq- but, these days I'm used to having him around. It didn't help that this week has been the coldest week we've experienced so far, and that along with the mighty Oklahoma winds has made the task of going out with two small children and a baby more work than it's worth. This week has also been a little preview of what is to come next year when John goes to Korea for a year. The good thing about it being for such a long amount of time is three fold: 1.)I can move up to the Oklahoma City area, which is closer to family and there are much more things to do. 2.)We will have a little extra income that will enable us to be completely debt free by the time his enlistment is up in '10, and 3.)when it is such a long amount of time, you have time to get used to doing it on your own. Something I noticed when he was in Iraq was that the evening witching hour seemed to disappear. I no longer watched the clock like hawk waiting for someone to come home and save me at the end of the day, because there wasn't anyone coming home. You can't complain about no one else picking up the slack when it's just you. Of course, I'm never going to choose being away from my husband over being with him, and I will miss him terribly and I'm not looking forward to him being gone, but I refuse to mope and be all doom and gloom about it.
This past week my husband, John, has been "in the field" and it has been so trying. It's hardley the longest we've ever been apart- he spent July of 2006- October 2007 in Iraq- but, these days I'm used to having him around. It didn't help that this week has been the coldest week we've experienced so far, and that along with the mighty Oklahoma winds has made the task of going out with two small children and a baby more work than it's worth. This week has also been a little preview of what is to come next year when John goes to Korea for a year. The good thing about it being for such a long amount of time is three fold: 1.)I can move up to the Oklahoma City area, which is closer to family and there are much more things to do. 2.)We will have a little extra income that will enable us to be completely debt free by the time his enlistment is up in '10, and 3.)when it is such a long amount of time, you have time to get used to doing it on your own. Something I noticed when he was in Iraq was that the evening witching hour seemed to disappear. I no longer watched the clock like hawk waiting for someone to come home and save me at the end of the day, because there wasn't anyone coming home. You can't complain about no one else picking up the slack when it's just you. Of course, I'm never going to choose being away from my husband over being with him, and I will miss him terribly and I'm not looking forward to him being gone, but I refuse to mope and be all doom and gloom about it.
