I try to keep it under wraps that I struggle quite a bit with my temper. So often I catch myself missing beautiful moments with my children because I'm so wound up about something that there is no point getting that upset over. Does it ever solve anything to blow my top and explode about anything? Maybe this is a learned behaviour? I remember my mom flipping out on me over things that I thought weren't that big of a deal, and now here I am acting the same way. What really cuts me to the quick, is that more and more I'm seeing my oldest son, Canon, getting extremely frustrated and upset over little things in the blink of an eye. I constantly scold myself that I am setting him an example as to how one should respond to disappointment or frustration, and the one I am setting isn't so great. I feel like a drill sgt some days, constantly barking at my kids and I hate it. Every day I get up and say that today is going to be different. "Today I am going to be patient and kind." Good goal. There's just one problem: I am always trying to accomplish this through my own sheer will and flesh. Just trying to hold tight and white-knuckle my way through as my pastor put it on Sunday. Every day I inevitably fail because I'm not being changed supernaturally, I'm just bottling up the frustration and then shooting off about half way through the day. Why am I not cracking open my Bible more often? Why am I not continuously in prayer about this? It isn't just a parenting problem, it's a worship problem. It's a problem with my witness. I have my own children's ministry of my very own and I'm just not giving 100% because I'm not ever asking Jesus to fill me up before I try to pour out. How can I pour out something that isn't there to begin with?
I desperately need more of Jesus in my life. Not just in my life in general, but right here, right now, in this very moment.
I'm grabbing my bible and heading outside. My two older young'uns are running around in the backyard with bubbles and water guns and all manner of fun and I want to be present with them in these moments. This is one of the big reasons why I stay home, after all, is so that I can experience all the little joys with them. So I'm going to go read my Bible with the laughter of children as the soundtrack to my afternoon. I want to soak up every wise and beautiful thing that Jesus is, so that I can better pour Him out and into others.
Showing posts with label spiritual walk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual walk. Show all posts
conviction
Lord Jesus forgive me, I feel like I am finally developing a true hunger for Christ and His presence and to be intimate with Him and do His work. For several years I've been saying that I wanted to get back to a strong place in my walk. In my head I knew that that was what I should be pursuing, but I just didn't feel that hunger within my heart. I guess I was too comfortable being, well, comfortable. However, Christ doesn't call us to be comfortable. Living as merely a spectator in a pew on Sunday mornings doesn't stir one's soul. It doesn't satisfy. I did manage in that time to get myself back into church, but it was just the same old messages that I've heard my entire life that always boil down to being a good person. You know, pay your tithe, be polite to your co-workers, don't curse, don't cheat on your spouse, etc....and while all of those things are good things to go by, there is just so much more to being a Christian than merely being a good person.
I always really felt like there just had to be more to it. There had to be more to this whole 'living for Jesus' thing than wearing WWJD? bracelets and listening to Charlie Hall cd's. There should be risk, there should be adventure, it should be something radical. It should truly change you. Change who you are at your very core.
So today I was reading along in Matthew and got to the part at the end of chapter 6 where Jesus is talking about God clothing the grass of the field with flowers and aren't we more important than grass. Growing up in church I've heard these verses about a million times, but glory to God how He makes all things fresh and new! Tonight it just really struck me how much time I have spent thinking about clothes. Typical girl, especially with planning a vow renewal I've been looking at clothes and thinking about clothes a LOT lately. To be completely honest, back when I went to Burn at Shekinah last month I had a really hard time getting in to the worship. I saw all these other people just totally feeling the presence of God and I just didn't. Right then the Holy Spirit convicted me and said, "You spent more time preparing your outward appearance than you did preparing your heart to be with me. You wasted time on choosing 'the perfect outfit' for a social gathering when you should have been preparing your heart to be in my presence." Consequently, His presence was withheld from me that night and it was heartbreaking. Being disciplined by the Holy Spirit is never an enjoyable feeling. And yet what did I do? The next morning I walked right along on the same path and never made a change.
Tonight I could feel God telling me "You feel empty. I can make you full. Turn off the TV and open your Bible. You are never going to find the wholeness you are searching for on that TV. Open my word." I resisted it at first, but thank God for His persistance. Thank You, Lord, that You never give up on me.
So I read and first came across Matt. 5:47 "And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" Instantly my mind flooded with Hope for the Hopeless. Hope for the Hopeless is a bible study at Frontline that my friend Josh Kidd leads that is geared towards all the punk rock, hardcore, goth, etc. people. I went week before last and had made up my mind that I wouldn't return because I just wasn't one of those kids anymore and I felt horribly out of place. After reading this verse though, I think I will go back. No, I'm not decked out in crazy clothes and multicolored hair anymore, but just because I'm not and they are doesn't mean that I shouldn't give them the time of day. We are all one body. Isn't the whole point of the bible study to reach out to the counter-culture people living on the fringe? Yes, it is out of my comfort zone- all the more reason to keep going. So that settles it. Tomorrow night I'm returning to the bible study.....and maybe I'll bake some cupcakes or something to bring along.
Bunny trail there- back to the clothes issue. Jesus clearly says that we are not to be all "What shall I wear?" cause God knows that we need clothes. Ouch. There's another zap from the Holy Spirit. I couldn't even tell you how many times I have said "What shall I wear?" or "I have nothing to wear." in the last few weeks. I have spent an insane amount of time online looking at clothes. Time that I could have spent being a good steward of my home by attending to that pile of clean laundry that is over-taking my living room, waiting to be folded and put away. Time that I could have spent reading the word and praying and teaching my kids by example to make those things a priority. In Luke chapter 12 the same story is told and adds, "Sell your possesions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." Sell your possessions and give to the poor is pretty cut and dry don't you think? Quit stock piling all this expensive crap that you don't really need and put that money towards those who are truly living without. The next part also made me think of women as a whole. Women and purses. It made me think of all the designer handbags out there that women throw down hundreds if not thousands of dollars on. Purses that will eventually wear out or quite possibly be stolen. But if instead you took the hundred, five hundred, or more dollars that you would be shelling out for say, a Coach bag, and gave that to your local rescue mission the purse that you would receive in turn would be one in heaven that would blow that tan bag with the C's all over it out of the water. Now I'm sure that that probably isn't the purse that the writer is referring to. I doubt they had designer handbags back then, but it makes sense here in the modern age, don't you think?
I am here by committing myself to take a break from thinking about clothes. Instead of watching the Style Network and window shopping online, I will read my bible, pray, put on some praise music and worship God. I will avoid magazines and shopping malls and stores. If I absolutely MUST get some new garment (though I can't imagine I would) I will either make it myself or buy used.
It's time to refocus. It's time to stop trying to follow Jesus just a little bit and go all in. It's time to get serious and make the main thing the main thing.
I always really felt like there just had to be more to it. There had to be more to this whole 'living for Jesus' thing than wearing WWJD? bracelets and listening to Charlie Hall cd's. There should be risk, there should be adventure, it should be something radical. It should truly change you. Change who you are at your very core.
So today I was reading along in Matthew and got to the part at the end of chapter 6 where Jesus is talking about God clothing the grass of the field with flowers and aren't we more important than grass. Growing up in church I've heard these verses about a million times, but glory to God how He makes all things fresh and new! Tonight it just really struck me how much time I have spent thinking about clothes. Typical girl, especially with planning a vow renewal I've been looking at clothes and thinking about clothes a LOT lately. To be completely honest, back when I went to Burn at Shekinah last month I had a really hard time getting in to the worship. I saw all these other people just totally feeling the presence of God and I just didn't. Right then the Holy Spirit convicted me and said, "You spent more time preparing your outward appearance than you did preparing your heart to be with me. You wasted time on choosing 'the perfect outfit' for a social gathering when you should have been preparing your heart to be in my presence." Consequently, His presence was withheld from me that night and it was heartbreaking. Being disciplined by the Holy Spirit is never an enjoyable feeling. And yet what did I do? The next morning I walked right along on the same path and never made a change.
Tonight I could feel God telling me "You feel empty. I can make you full. Turn off the TV and open your Bible. You are never going to find the wholeness you are searching for on that TV. Open my word." I resisted it at first, but thank God for His persistance. Thank You, Lord, that You never give up on me.
So I read and first came across Matt. 5:47 "And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" Instantly my mind flooded with Hope for the Hopeless. Hope for the Hopeless is a bible study at Frontline that my friend Josh Kidd leads that is geared towards all the punk rock, hardcore, goth, etc. people. I went week before last and had made up my mind that I wouldn't return because I just wasn't one of those kids anymore and I felt horribly out of place. After reading this verse though, I think I will go back. No, I'm not decked out in crazy clothes and multicolored hair anymore, but just because I'm not and they are doesn't mean that I shouldn't give them the time of day. We are all one body. Isn't the whole point of the bible study to reach out to the counter-culture people living on the fringe? Yes, it is out of my comfort zone- all the more reason to keep going. So that settles it. Tomorrow night I'm returning to the bible study.....and maybe I'll bake some cupcakes or something to bring along.
Bunny trail there- back to the clothes issue. Jesus clearly says that we are not to be all "What shall I wear?" cause God knows that we need clothes. Ouch. There's another zap from the Holy Spirit. I couldn't even tell you how many times I have said "What shall I wear?" or "I have nothing to wear." in the last few weeks. I have spent an insane amount of time online looking at clothes. Time that I could have spent being a good steward of my home by attending to that pile of clean laundry that is over-taking my living room, waiting to be folded and put away. Time that I could have spent reading the word and praying and teaching my kids by example to make those things a priority. In Luke chapter 12 the same story is told and adds, "Sell your possesions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." Sell your possessions and give to the poor is pretty cut and dry don't you think? Quit stock piling all this expensive crap that you don't really need and put that money towards those who are truly living without. The next part also made me think of women as a whole. Women and purses. It made me think of all the designer handbags out there that women throw down hundreds if not thousands of dollars on. Purses that will eventually wear out or quite possibly be stolen. But if instead you took the hundred, five hundred, or more dollars that you would be shelling out for say, a Coach bag, and gave that to your local rescue mission the purse that you would receive in turn would be one in heaven that would blow that tan bag with the C's all over it out of the water. Now I'm sure that that probably isn't the purse that the writer is referring to. I doubt they had designer handbags back then, but it makes sense here in the modern age, don't you think?
I am here by committing myself to take a break from thinking about clothes. Instead of watching the Style Network and window shopping online, I will read my bible, pray, put on some praise music and worship God. I will avoid magazines and shopping malls and stores. If I absolutely MUST get some new garment (though I can't imagine I would) I will either make it myself or buy used.
It's time to refocus. It's time to stop trying to follow Jesus just a little bit and go all in. It's time to get serious and make the main thing the main thing.
boasting in the Cross
Though few and far between in this season of life, I enjoy reading in the calm quiet moments during my day. Right now I'm in the middle of reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. In it, Piper talks about boasting in the cross and while I've been a believer since i was a young child, I've never really understood what that phrase meant until reading this book. As Piper explains, it means that you rejoice in the cross. Anything that we as believers are have or experience that is good or that was bad and God turns for good is something undeserved that was bought for us on the cross. We are not deserving of anything other than judgment and condemnation. Every good thing- or bad thing that God turns for good- from work, to sex, to cars, to leisure, to health, and even life is paid for in blood. Litterally every breath, every heart beat is an undeserved gift. Thinking about that while holding my little 9 month old brought tears to my eyes. I just stood there smelling his sweet baby smell and feeling his soft hair and skin against me cheek and cried. I just cried and was so very grateful for the cross, for his blood that paid for that moment, for his blood that paid for this healthy baby in my arms, that paid for this heart beat...and this heart beat...and this heart beat...and each and every breath I heard him breath in and out. The cross is why I had healthy pregnancies and safe births and healthy babies and a good husband and a lovely home. The cross is why I can step outside with my kids and see the joy on their faces as we catch ladybugs in the front yard. The cross is why I can taste the awesome sea scallops at Park Avenue Grill and why I have the ability to eat and digest food at all. The cross is the source of all joy, of all life, and I can never repay it. The awesome thing is, I don't have to repay it. It makes me think of that song by Third Day that says
And I know that you don't realize the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again....
God is just so good. So much better than we deserve. He's not just the best thing. He's the only thing.
And I know that you don't realize the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again....
God is just so good. So much better than we deserve. He's not just the best thing. He's the only thing.
i love this song.
look out if you are driving anywhere near me while this song is on because i will be blubbering like girl and won't be able to see the road. (btw- this isn't who actually sing this song. it's just some girls who also like the song. i just like how intimate it is compared to the actual band singing it on a stage.)
Why are you striving these day?
Why are you still trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face.
Just don't turn away.
Why are you still looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run.
To where will you run?
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowd the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
that I, I love you
I'll never let you go
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Why are you still trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face.
Just don't turn away.
Why are you still looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run.
To where will you run?
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowd the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
that I, I love you
I'll never let you go
And I'll be by your side
Where ever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call and
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
resisting the urge to run ahead
Aren't we as little children? We are constantly not listening, trying to run all around on our own. We dash forward and jump on and off the pasth, instead of quietly walking with God listening for His instructions on what to do next. Very often my three year old say, "I don't want to hold your hand. I want to walk on my own." Isn't that just the way we are with God? Forever trying to do everything ourselves and following our own ideas instead of listening to a loving someone who knows better.
I feel so restless in my spirit. I need to learn how to be still and walk with God, following his instructions. I need to not only pray more, but listen more.
I feel so restless in my spirit. I need to learn how to be still and walk with God, following his instructions. I need to not only pray more, but listen more.
wasting away
Only one life
Twill soon be past;
Only what's done
for Christ will last.
i am and have been wasting my life. i've let all the passion and joy i had for the Lord slip away and have become complacent in so many thing. i've become materialistic and lazy. i haven't been cultivating relationships with people or reaching out to others. i am always talking about "my faith", but doesn't faith involve risk? i am risking nothing these days. i don't want to live this way anymore. i want to be among people. i want to really know people and i want to be known. i want to have real friends and not just memories of ones i had in the past. i want to be involved and to contribute to my community. when did i let myself become so jaded? i want to put myself and my heart on the line for people again. i want to make myself vulnerable. i want to take risks. i want to love dangerously.
i've been living in a bubble and it's high time for that bubble to pop. i don't want to waste my life.
Twill soon be past;
Only what's done
for Christ will last.
i am and have been wasting my life. i've let all the passion and joy i had for the Lord slip away and have become complacent in so many thing. i've become materialistic and lazy. i haven't been cultivating relationships with people or reaching out to others. i am always talking about "my faith", but doesn't faith involve risk? i am risking nothing these days. i don't want to live this way anymore. i want to be among people. i want to really know people and i want to be known. i want to have real friends and not just memories of ones i had in the past. i want to be involved and to contribute to my community. when did i let myself become so jaded? i want to put myself and my heart on the line for people again. i want to make myself vulnerable. i want to take risks. i want to love dangerously.
i've been living in a bubble and it's high time for that bubble to pop. i don't want to waste my life.
rambly catch-up post.
man alive! i have neglected you poor little blog. what can i say? i've been a faithful livejournal-er for... wow....over 6 years now. you didn't hear or see it, but i just sighed deeply. to think of where i was 6 years ago, it seems like a lifetime ago. i'm pretty glad i'm not that liquered-up, glittered-up dance-into-the-wee-hours idiot anymore....well, i do miss dancing, but when you've got three extrememly active, extremely loud children under the age of five you're lucky to be up past ten p.m.
so i am no longer a denizen of Lawton and it feels fan.tastic. "technically" i am living in oklahoma city, though if i crossed the street i would be in Mustang. who knows how long we will stay in this house. hubs is wanting to leave the army when his contract ends in nov of next year, and we've always wanted to live deeper into the city. in fact, when hubs and i first met he was living over near the paseo. i really have always felt that God was leading us towards homeschooling, and the schools in okc were really my only reservation in regaurds to moving there. however, hubs still has to find a civilian job to work post-army, and that will dictate quite a bit when it comes to where and when to move.
speaking of hubs and the army- he is leaving in just a few days to go to Korea for 12 months. i know i will miss him desperately, but every time i start to get to feeling blue i remind myself that God is the one who is my rock, the one who sustains me. hubs is just a bonus. the Lord gives, and the Lord takes. blessed be the name of the Lord.
with the combo of a move along with a husband a world away, i really need to find a hobby...well, i suppose i can revist knitting. i knitted quite a bit while he was in iraq, but then i was always knitting wool diaper covers, which i don't need anymore because we use pocket diapers now. i have been wanting to knit some things from Mason-Dixon Knitting for our home though. i'll have to look for that book. i've also been dying to buy a hula hoop. not one of those flimsy plastic toy ones that you find in target or wal-mart, but an adult hoop. they are bigger and heavier, and thus easier to keep up because they revolve more slowly. what i *really* need to find is a church. being that i used to live in Mustang, i could always go back to the church that i went to when i was growing up here, but honestly i don't want to go to a church that is safely in a suburb bubble. i want to go somewhere that is engaging in fighting for social justice. a church where people can be raw and real and open, not where you feel like you have to put on a mask that you are someone who has all your ducks in a row when you're really hurting on the inside.
i need friends.
hubs is taking the two older young'uns to an OKC Thunder game tonite, so it will be just me and baby Doyle tonite. he has been UBER cranky the last few days. i thought maybe it was just being overstimulated by Disney World (we just got home wednesday), but it hasn't seemed to have worn off. teething perhaps?
welp, i'm off to look around etsy for accessories...or perhaps ravelry for patterns...or puruse blogs....or something completely unproductive...
so i am no longer a denizen of Lawton and it feels fan.tastic. "technically" i am living in oklahoma city, though if i crossed the street i would be in Mustang. who knows how long we will stay in this house. hubs is wanting to leave the army when his contract ends in nov of next year, and we've always wanted to live deeper into the city. in fact, when hubs and i first met he was living over near the paseo. i really have always felt that God was leading us towards homeschooling, and the schools in okc were really my only reservation in regaurds to moving there. however, hubs still has to find a civilian job to work post-army, and that will dictate quite a bit when it comes to where and when to move.
speaking of hubs and the army- he is leaving in just a few days to go to Korea for 12 months. i know i will miss him desperately, but every time i start to get to feeling blue i remind myself that God is the one who is my rock, the one who sustains me. hubs is just a bonus. the Lord gives, and the Lord takes. blessed be the name of the Lord.
with the combo of a move along with a husband a world away, i really need to find a hobby...well, i suppose i can revist knitting. i knitted quite a bit while he was in iraq, but then i was always knitting wool diaper covers, which i don't need anymore because we use pocket diapers now. i have been wanting to knit some things from Mason-Dixon Knitting for our home though. i'll have to look for that book. i've also been dying to buy a hula hoop. not one of those flimsy plastic toy ones that you find in target or wal-mart, but an adult hoop. they are bigger and heavier, and thus easier to keep up because they revolve more slowly. what i *really* need to find is a church. being that i used to live in Mustang, i could always go back to the church that i went to when i was growing up here, but honestly i don't want to go to a church that is safely in a suburb bubble. i want to go somewhere that is engaging in fighting for social justice. a church where people can be raw and real and open, not where you feel like you have to put on a mask that you are someone who has all your ducks in a row when you're really hurting on the inside.
i need friends.
hubs is taking the two older young'uns to an OKC Thunder game tonite, so it will be just me and baby Doyle tonite. he has been UBER cranky the last few days. i thought maybe it was just being overstimulated by Disney World (we just got home wednesday), but it hasn't seemed to have worn off. teething perhaps?
welp, i'm off to look around etsy for accessories...or perhaps ravelry for patterns...or puruse blogs....or something completely unproductive...
be less Martha and more Mary
So, today was a typical day. Me trying my very best to make my home a peaceful haven for my husband, ie. running around up and down the stairs like a chicken with my head cut-off to attempt to get caught up on laundry, dishes, dusting, cooking, as well as the ever present rearing of children. I was actually getting quite a bit done without too much stress which was a nice change from my omgiamsolosingmymarbles type days. While I count it an answer to prayer, God also needed to remind me that while having a tidy home is good, it is not what is most important.
He did this in such a clever, unexpected way, as is typical with the way of God. I was putting my older boys to bed. Right now our routine is potty time, bible story time (which also gives us a set time every day to practice sitting still and listening), lights out, prayers, sleep. I picked up where we left off in the New Testament of The Beginner's Bible Timeless Children's Stories, when we came to the story about Mary and Martha. Mary is sitting and listening at Jesus' feet while Martha rushes around doing all the housework. Martha gets irritated that Mary isn't helping her, but Jesus explains that Mary "has chosen what is better. She is listening to me." I've heard that story a bagillion times, but this time- reading it in a children's story bible- I finally "got it", not in my head, but in my heart. So many days I end the day feeling sad and guilty that I didn't spend anytime with God in the word or in prayer other than to send up the emergency prayer like "Lord, so and so's friend/sister/mom/dog was in a carwreck/is in preterm labor/had a heart attack/has to be put down, please be with my friend and let your will be done." So often I just treat God like a vending machine.
Anyway- back on subject, so many times I end the day and feel the Holy Spirit convicting me of neglecting my relationship with God and I always try to rationalize and justify it with myself saying how much there is that needs to get done in a day that is my responsibility and blah blah blah. Today is the first day it has really sunken in that God is more important than have the table wiped off. God is more important than getting that load of clean clothes put away rightthissecond. God is more important than stuffing diapers/making beds/emptying the dishwasher/responding to an email....None of those are bad things in an of themselves, but when all is said and done and I have to stand before Christ and give account, is he really going to care how often I vacuumed? Is my heavenly Father going to be pleased that I put folding towels and matching socks and wiping counter tops before my relationship with him?
I want to get all this blogged out so that I can have a reminder that my home is not going to fall apart if I take 10 minutes to touch base with the person who sacrificed his life for me. The towels and socks and dusty coffee table will all still be there.
He did this in such a clever, unexpected way, as is typical with the way of God. I was putting my older boys to bed. Right now our routine is potty time, bible story time (which also gives us a set time every day to practice sitting still and listening), lights out, prayers, sleep. I picked up where we left off in the New Testament of The Beginner's Bible Timeless Children's Stories, when we came to the story about Mary and Martha. Mary is sitting and listening at Jesus' feet while Martha rushes around doing all the housework. Martha gets irritated that Mary isn't helping her, but Jesus explains that Mary "has chosen what is better. She is listening to me." I've heard that story a bagillion times, but this time- reading it in a children's story bible- I finally "got it", not in my head, but in my heart. So many days I end the day feeling sad and guilty that I didn't spend anytime with God in the word or in prayer other than to send up the emergency prayer like "Lord, so and so's friend/sister/mom/dog was in a carwreck/is in preterm labor/had a heart attack/has to be put down, please be with my friend and let your will be done." So often I just treat God like a vending machine.
Anyway- back on subject, so many times I end the day and feel the Holy Spirit convicting me of neglecting my relationship with God and I always try to rationalize and justify it with myself saying how much there is that needs to get done in a day that is my responsibility and blah blah blah. Today is the first day it has really sunken in that God is more important than have the table wiped off. God is more important than getting that load of clean clothes put away rightthissecond. God is more important than stuffing diapers/making beds/emptying the dishwasher/responding to an email....None of those are bad things in an of themselves, but when all is said and done and I have to stand before Christ and give account, is he really going to care how often I vacuumed? Is my heavenly Father going to be pleased that I put folding towels and matching socks and wiping counter tops before my relationship with him?
I want to get all this blogged out so that I can have a reminder that my home is not going to fall apart if I take 10 minutes to touch base with the person who sacrificed his life for me. The towels and socks and dusty coffee table will all still be there.
